2023 Cruise NCL Gem

 1st night in Istanbul Turkey.

Photo dump

 Grandkids starting school this year.  2023

 7 Days and counting ....  For the first time ever, I am not excited about going on a cruise.  The only place in the world I have ever said I did not care for was Turkey and well here we go about to embark on a 10-day cruise starting in Istanbul Turkey.  We were to spend 2 days in Israel and then head to Egypt ending in Athens Greece.  But our itinerary has changed due to the war that is currently going on in Israel.  I've tried to cancel but to no avail.  If we cancel now we will pay our entire fee for this cruise which is not something Robert wants to do.  Actually, if it were me, I would take the loss and move on.  He seems to think we will be safe and have no issues cruising with the waters of the Mediterranean Sea.  I am not so sure and do not wish to place myself anywhere near the war there.  

On my health issues, I'm developing brain fog.  I had to look that up because I wasn't sure.  A direct side effect of the ozempic I am taking.  I honestly can't remember if I've taken my medication or not after taking it.  I lose interest in a TV show within 15 minutes and literally cannot finish an email before I walk away because I can't focus.  I can't seem to finish anything I start because I become bored or lose interest within minutes and move away from whatever it is I'm doing.  My iron levels must be low because all i want to do is sleep.  I get tired really easily and want to take a nap.  I've been sleeping way too much during the day and cannot function from drowsiness.  My blood sugar average count for the past 7 days is 145 according to my reader.  I woke up this morning and it was 109.  Can't say that I've ever seen that number in recent years.  I am constantly nauseated.  I feel sick to my stomach each and every day.  This concerns me because getting on a cruise is the last thing I want to do.  The idea of being nauseated before I get on the ship can only get worse.  UGHH

Rex and I summer of 2022 in Washington.

Sleep

 I wish I was lucky enough to be able to sleep a full 8 hours straight through the night.  Oh, how I dream of a day I would wake up and feel fully rested.  Unfortunately, this has never been my luck.  I'm lucky to get 5 hours but more like 4 a night.  I've taken melatonin and that usually leaves me with a haze and difficult to function the next day.  Many years ago, I was so sleep-deprived that the doctors prescribed sleeping pills to be taken for a week at a time.  Because they were highly addictive, I would only be on them a few weeks at a time every 3 months or so.  This was 10-plus years ago.  If I take 2 Advil this will put me to sleep for at least 2 hours.  Every once in a while, I will resort to this.  But usually, by then I will have a headache from lack of sleep.  

Robert and I were on our very first cruise together.  

Mexico NCL April 30th, 2011

 

Sorry, it's blurry but I wanted to show the steps I get from jogging in the pool daily.   I can usually do around 5400 in an hour.  Today I was in the pool in the morning and then again at night.  Robert and I went at night because we had been at home all day watching college football games and working on our laptops.  So, this wasn't so bad for just being at home all day.  We are in the pool at least 5 to 6 days of the week.  

I got a good foot massage from Robert tonight.  He's very good about this and I only need to ask.  I'm pretty careful with my feet and wear shoes everywhere including in the pool.  I try to limit the days I wear flip-flops and sandals to only when I'm trying to be cute in a certain outfit and only for a couple of hours a day or if I'm just sitting at the office all day.  For any walking or running errands, I am always sure to wear comfortable and good-soled shoes.  My mother lost a foot from uncontrolled diabetes.   She was deathly afraid of needles and needed insulin and would not take it.  This led to poor circulation.  She sustained an injury on her toes that led to the amputation of half of her foot.  The doctors were able to save her leg and with shoes on you couldn't tell but it was still difficult for her.  With this in mind, I am hyper-vigilant with my feet. 

Have you ever thought about all the things you spend your entire life waiting for or doing and then when you achieve those goals it's not exactly the moment in life you were hoping for.  For instance.  When you are young 20s or so you make a bunch of dumb financial mistakes.  Spend too much, not enough or whatever.  Your credit score takes a hit and you spend too many years trying to recover from those mistakes.  Then when you finally get your excellent credit score you have already achieved all the things you need and your credit score isn't really that big of a deal anymore. Yeah sure there are the occasional purchases but nothing like when you were younger and trying to establish yourself as an adult.  Robert and I have been fortunate to have A-plus credit scores for the past 10 years or so.  It wasn't always that way.  We both made financial mistakes along the way or didn't earn enough money to understand.  Now that we are later in life there doesn't seem that often that we need to have our pristine credit score.  Things that make you go hmm.  

Taken 10/2023 outside Nico's Honolulu Hi

Missed swimming yesterday because I felt sick all day, The Ozempic I'm taking is kicking my butt.  I have a sick to my stomach-feeling most of the day.  My appetite has decreased.  I need to pay attention to hydration as my doctor warned me this could be a problem.  I have no desire for any sweet drinks.  I tried a sip of juice, and the sugar made me a bit sick so it's been water.  I've been eating cottage cheese and cashews for the most part nothing else seems to sound good.  I'm having excruciating pain in my right foot.  Never had that before.  It feels like someone has a pick and is stabbing my foot.  I was at Walmart picking up a few things and couldn't take the sudden pain and had to sit down.  I don't know what is causing this but it's not like anything I have felt before.  Came home took Advil and went to sleep.  Advil usually knocks me out for a few hours.  Not sure what I am going to do.  

Robert and Rex 2022 in Washington.

 Feeling nausea is a daily occurrence for me.  Something I've experienced most of my life but with my new medication is it even more so.  I've begun to have neuropathy in my feet.  Some days the burning and tingling are so painful all I can do is sleep to try and pass the day.  My doctor has prescribed Gabapentin but I have not started taking it.  I'm always afraid of being on too much medication and the side effects so I go very cautiously with prescriptions.  Woke up at 3AM not feeling well no swim this morning.  Hopefully, tonight will be better. 

Robert and I in Alaska.  Cruise 2022

  Robert and I in London for a concert in 2021

 Diabetes sucks!

I've been plagued with this disease for over 20 years.  I've yoyoed with my AIC and diet for years.  I am currently on insulin of 80 units 2x daily.   I exercise daily and try and i do mean TRY to pay attention to what I am eating.  They tell me I am insulin resistant and my pancreas is not working at all.  I've resolved myself with the idea that based on my mother and grandmother longevity is not in the cards for me.  I have days when I think oh hey I can do this and then I have days when I think no no no.   

With my insulin injections at a high dose, I'm putting on weight.  Its not pretty.  At my last doctor's appointment, it was suggested I up my insulin intake and that was enough to send my head spinning.  I quickly asked the doctor about weight gain and his response was that it is secondary to dealing with your AIC.  If we don't get that down everything else will not work.  I broke down.  Weight gain is not something I take well.  Although I am overweight the idea of more weight gain is not something I can handle.  I am in the pool almost every day.  I'm currently waking up at 4 am to be in the pool by 5:15.  I do an hour in the pool averaging about 5400 steps I try and get more but restrict myself to an hour. 

I decided to journal my journey so here I am.